One of the most frustrating things about parenthood is when your child misbehaves and there is no way for you to understand how to get them to stop. Children are not able to communicate their emotions verbally. Hence, they often resort to misbehavior in order to display their thoughts, feelings and emotions. In order to get them to stop, parents normally tend to focus on discipling their child to shut down any misbehavior at that given moment. On the contrary, experts suggest that finding out the underlying cause of their misbehavior and addressing it would truly help your child. Providing them with an outlet to freely express their emotions completely eliminates the urge to misbehave.
Understanding The Why Behind The What: Misbehavior is a result of certain factors that causes children to lash out in a negative way. Some of these factors are:
- Lack of Attention – When kids notice their parents giving them slightly less attention than they are used to, they misbehave. This could be the case if a parent is caught up with house chores, is on a phone call, is driving or grocery shopping. Any kind of attention, even negative, from parents is favorable to kids.
- Developing negative emotions – Parents need to be mindful that children, especially above the ages of 5, are very keen on receiving outwardly affection from their parents. For them, being loved is not enough, they prefer it to be expressed. The absence of which, could cause them to develop negative emotions and negatively react.
- Lack of Acknowledgement – When a child discovers a new thought or an idea, they seek for the approval of their parents. They are also eager to give their input in discussions to indicate their learnings. Unintentionally, parents may reject these inputs or not even acknowledge them. As a result, a feeling of rejection arises and causes children to misbehave. This is how children feel independent.
- Unfulfilled Needs: At a growing stage, children have requirements such as eating on time and getting good sleep. If they start to feel tired, unwell or hungry, they misbehave.
- Following Examples Set: This is a two-part problem. First, children are quick to learn. They are quick to act out whatever they learn from others. This could also be learned from TV Series, Youtube videos, movies, etc. Second, upon acting out, if parents give in to the child’s misbehavior and understand that it is an effective means of getting what they want, they would regularly do it.
Preventing misbehavior is easier than to deal with it. Incorporating ways of positive behavior, addressing their feelings, acknowledging their growth, attending to their needs and setting a good role model example would lead your child to healthily express themselves. Similarly, parents need to rethink the rules set and evaluate if they are reasonable for a child. These rules need to be clear and enforced frequently. In some cases, the rules can be flexible, depending on your child’s needs. Provide your child with choices to allow them to step into the role of a decision-maker. This way they would feel like they are in control.
Children only remain children for a few years. It is important for parents to allow them to act like children. Spend time with your child to enable a healthy outlet of expression. Try implementing the tips provided in this blog. One step at a time. Allow this new tip/technique to settle in and become a habit. Be patient and watch how everything falls into place.
